Christie’s victory over eight-legged foe

By Franky Hunter

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie eliminated a potential threat Monday – by smashing it on his desk.

As a group of students watched, Christie sprang into action and flattened the intruder – a spider – with the palm of his hand. The arachnid met its demise while Christie was hosting his daughter’s fourth grade class as it toured the governor’s office. Later, CNN reported that Christie tweeted a video of the incident with the message, “Earlier today I saved a few school children from a spider.”

After the deadly incident, Christie informed the students that “One fun part of being governor is you get to kill any bugs on your desk without getting into trouble,” according to the AP.

The governor, however, has not been completely exempt from trouble, as he has been chastised by animal rights activists for carelessness. CNN reported that the President of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), Ingrid Newkirk, has issued a statement claiming that Christie “probably did it without thinking.” Newkirk continued to claim, “Some people put the spider outside, but spiders are often scary to people, and that can prevent them from pondering their worth.”

The incident has made national news and come to the attention of many, including late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, who joked about the governor’s highly publicized battle with weight loss, saying, “If you have eight legs and can’t outrun Chris Christie, you deserve to die.”